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  286. ├ ╞ v ╩┘  ╢================================                                          THE STORY                  (well, a bit of it)                                        It's sometime in the next mil-  lenium.                                                         The planet Heck has recently    put chickens on the endangered  species list. So, in a hopeful  attempt to replenish their      supply of chickens, they decide to send their greatest fighter  to steal chickens from the      planet Earth. That fighter is   you.                                                            In your spherical space ship,   which combines roominess and    aerodynamical speed, you launch for the puny planet Earth.                                      You arrive at the speck of a    planet, beat some poor farmers  senseless, rob them of their    chickens, and injure a lamb as  you make your escape. The angry futuristic farmers hop in their speedy space ship and begin to  chase you into outer space. Theyget so close to catching you    that you are forced to fire     missiles at their pursuing ves- sel. But a malfunction occurs,  and your ship loses all its     cargo, including the chickens   you just stole. Oh, no!                                         However, the missiles you fired connect, and the earthlings'    ship spews out more chickens andmore cargo into the treacherous asteroid field!                                                 The chickens start to run out   of precious air. So you, being  a bold-hearted and chicken-     liking person, dive into the    asteroid field to capture the   chickens with your special      grappling arm . . .                                             GO GET THOSE CHICKENS!          ================================                                As you are searching for more   chickens, you remember how you  beat up those innocent farmers  when you stole a few chickens onEarth's surface. It starts to   kind of get to you how you hurt an innocent lamb in your task   that your leaders on Heck       assigned you.                                                   You start to wonder why you     are following your leaders'     orders. But then you remember   that you are doing this for the sake of your planet. You get    angry at yourself for doubting  your mission. And you promise   yourself that nothing will stop you from replenishing your plan-ets supply of chickens! Not eventhe life of an earthling!                                       GO GET THOSE CHICKENS!          ================================                                Feeling a little curious, you   wonder if there are any chickensin the farmers' speedy space    ship with the hole in it. So youdecide to guide your ship next  to it and look around.                                          You know that the farmers are   religious people by the Christ- ian symbols you beheld while    stealing the chickens. Being    brought up on an alien world,   you came to dislike Christians  and their silly ways. "This is  my chance," you ponder, "to     finally tell one how foolish    and gullible they all are!"                                     You're about to beam yourself   over to their ship when sud-    denly, through the large sun-   roof of your ship, a light from heaven flashes all around you.  You fall to the metal floor on  your knees and hear a voice say,"%           , %           , whydo you persecute me?"                                           "Who are you?" you query.                                       "I am Jesus, whom you have per- secuted," the voice replies.    "Now get up and beam yourself   to the earthling ship and you   will find what you must do."                                    You get up from your knees,     but when you open your eyes you can see nothing. You stumble    to the controls for the beam-   machine, and you blindly beam   yourself to the other space     ship. As you rematerialize      you feel the cold end of a high-powered laser pistol pressing   against your forehead.                                          TO BE CONTINUED . . .           =================================